Adriana Gets Personal | BONUS
In this EpisodeOne day before Adriana’s 30th birthday, she headed into a doctor’s appointment for yet another fertility test – everything seemed to be coming to a head for her in her fertility journey.
For her whole life, Adriana thought that she would have her first child before 29, so the timing of this fertility test that would tell her whether or not she’d be able to conceive naturally felt all too ironic. Scared that she might receive the news on her birthday that she wouldn’t be able to have children without using IVF or another fertility method, she called Mariah to talk her off the ledge – something we find ourselves doing all the time.
What’s difficult about going through this journey for Adriana is the duality of feeling grateful for the parts of her plan that have gone right, while also still mourning what she doesn’t have yet. There have been times where people, even Mariah, have said to Adriana that she wishes she had her Bill – they wish that they could have that feeling of being settled; but, those people (not Mariah), might already have kids. They might have other parts of their life plans that have gone exactly right that Adriana never got. It’s true for all of us – everybody lacks somewhere in their plans, and for Adriana, it’s in her journey to pregnancy. Knowing this doesn’t make things any easier for her, or for any of us, for that matter. But it does provide us some comfort in the fact that we never know what other people are going through, and that nobody’s plan has ever gone perfectly.
What we realized throughout this call, too, is that (hopefully) we can find comfort in the fact that someday, all of this will make sense. We certainly might not be able to see it right now, but hopefully looking back on these moments in our lives from a new perspective will show us why we had to go through this. Looking back even now, we can see that Adriana had to go through this so that she and Bill would be led to Ford. In the words of Adriana’s favorite quote, you can’t connect the dots going forward, only looking back. ( - Steve Jobs, but you already knew that if you’re a true listener).
Another interesting point throughout this episode was the importance of sharing your story. Infertility affects 1 in 8 couples, but so often it can feel like you are the only people struggling with it. Adriana wants to share her journey with people so that they understand they are not alone, and to silence the culture of shame that surrounds infertility and having trouble with getting pregnant. So often, women feel broken and shameful about going through this, which causes them not to share their experiences. But, there shouldn’t be that culture – infertility is so much more common than a lot of people think. At the end of the day, it’s OK. It’s OK to struggle to get pregnant, it’s OK if everyone around you is getting pregnant with what seems like ease, and it’s OK to feel the way you do about your own individual journey. Sharing her story helps Adriana because she knows that her story has the potential to help someone else.
Adriana gets personal in this episode, but we hope that it helps you glow through whatever you might be facing right now. We can’t always see everyone’s bigger picture, and the battles that everyone faces each day, and hopefully this episode has shown you that.
Important Times0:52 - Adriana and Mariah, calling in!
3:14 - Adriana’s feelings during her fertility journey
4:59 - Watching friends get pregnant without problems
6:04 - All of this coming to a head on Adriana’s 30th birthday, what is “the plan”?
8:41 - Normalizing this experience
10:12 - Social media’s role in talking about your experiences
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Welcome bestie.
We’re so glad you’re here.
We’re Adriana and Mariah. Co-hosts, entrepreneurs, BFFs, and girls just like you trying to figure it out as we go.
